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today’s the kind of day of 

bricks weighed on my chest 

and choking on the lyrics and gasping for one breath 


it sounds like voice cracks over piano 

can’t even sing through a sad song  

my shaky legs and feet on the ground can’t seem to get along


my hands feel like an earthquake 

my eyes a window on rainy days 

even the knives that are my thoughts could not cut through the haze 


the cause is a rhetorical question

unanswered and unresolved 

but my brain and body disagree and I don’t wanna get involved


so now my bed feels quite like quicksand 

only got up to close the door

i don’t feel like doing anything 

what am i even good for?

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Updated: Jul 3, 2019

trends squeeze themselves into the gaps that separate you from the rest 

it's for the best

if we band-aid that stuck out sore thumb

and poke at you till you're numb 

while the first place ribbon bleeds, pinned right to your chest

the tiara they gave you is far too tight 

perhaps this screen is getting too bright?

i feel a headache coming on 

and i start to feel withdrawn 

but maybe the secret to that figure is to not eat much of that dinner 

just keep it behind the camera lens 

crave for online validation more than real friends 

and swallow every digit like painkillers 

constant filters are the eyes with which i see like the blind

and camera shutters scream at me to be more photogenic 

it's quite pathetic 

so i hit delete and scroll absentmindedly 

double tap scroll and

double tap takes its toll 

of fifty-four more likes for me

hours seem to escape and spend themselves on beach pics and edits playing tricks 

on your perception and the conception of which boxes you must tick 

follow these 5 beauty tips! 

you only have to change every single bit! 

with an aesthetic wrapped up nice and neat like a gift  

or a product display

like buy into my facade today! 

clouds of perfume make me choke and later so does the smoke 

but the poison looks nice in our best wine glass 

and one day when we pass 

will our profiles be our legacies? 

the new age electronic page of autobiographies

with slight plot changes and rewrites

and only share the highlights

to make our lives more interesting (are they even listening?)

for the pleasure (hopefully jealousy beyond measure) of these strangers 

where's the danger of doing anything to earn their favour? 

and measuring self-worth by the comments section's length 

and lacking any mental strength 

to give it up

is it ever enough? 

aren’t you tired of all of this superficial stuff?

so log off now. 

finally shut it down. 


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yes i see the irony in posting this on the internet,,, logged in,,,phone open on instagram,,,

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Updated: Apr 17, 2020

isn’t it a trend to feel so depressed?

i feel hideous but i’m still best dressed

i think i’m the worst when i try my very best 

wanna make me feel better? honey be my guest


once you’ve lost everything 

you’ve got nothing to lose

so forget everything

do what you’ve wanted to do 


make me feel pretty say you wanna be me 

skin clings to my bones so i’m praised for being skinny

tell me i’m your baby and i’ll tell you you’re crazy

flatter me to turn the no i gave you into maybe


and when i fall apart

they’ll write me poetry 

they’ll call my pain art 

make it up with sorry’s 


isn’t it a trend to feel like you’re dead?

i wanna feel alive so i’m a little reckless 

isn’t it a shame when people start to blame

everybody else when i’m cursing my own name?


you’ll see me on the screens

painting the perfect life 

a modern masterpiece

hell looks like paradise

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